Sunday, May 30, 2004

Hey Voltron, say something compassionate

Hulk Hogan, Mr. T and Fat-ass He-Man vs. the Bush administration: The best video game ever.

Not work-safe, unless you work somewhere really cool.
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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

His Dark Materials update

Variety, via Dark Horizons, is reporting that Chris Weitz is in talks to direct New Line's film adaptation of His Dark Materials. That would be Chris Weitz, the co-director of American Pie. Hmm. Not exactly the obvious choice. But then again, I haven't seen About a Boy*, which he also co-directed and was nominated for an Oscar for co-writing, so maybe he's got it in him to tell an epic fantasy story about a rebellion against God and the fall from innocence to experience (and armored polar bears). Stranger things have happened. Nobody really thought Peter Jackson could handle Lord of the Rings either. And American Pie, for all its faults, does actually have something to say about that whole innocence/experience thing.

*I haven't seen it because Blockbuster only has the fullscreen version. But the widescreen version is up next in by Netflix queue, right after Oz season 3, which Blockbuster also refuses to carry. In related news, I just got an email from Blockbuster announcing their new "Movie Pass" deal, which offers unlimited rentals for $24.99 a month, presumably to directly compete with Netflix. But I don't see this working out too well for Blockbuster: Netflix only costs $21.99 a month, you don't have to physically drag your carcass to a Blockbuster store, you get to keep three movies at a time instead of two, and the Netflix selection is VASTLY superior. In addition to widescreen About a Boy and Oz, there's an incredible range of indie and foreign films and documentaries and NC-17-rated movies that Blockbuster either can't or won't carry. Really, the only reason to go to Blockbuster anymore is to scour their pre-viewed DVD section for cheap movies.
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Today marks the first anniversary of The Adventures of Lil' Gardner & Robot Jesus, so here's a very special Tuesday cartoon, featuring the triumphant return of an old friend.



Who has been masquerading as Evil Gardner this whole time? Find out next week!
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Sunday, May 23, 2004

SPEAKER | Piano Men

One of my favorite musical things is a solo voice over piano; there's something about the simplicity of the arrangments the usually intimate way they're recorded, so you can hear every breath and the working of the pedals, that enhances and intensifies the song (I greatly preferred Nellie McKay's solo live act to her jazzed-up album, for instance). Here are two good examples.

"Time, Time, Time" by Parker Paul

Parker Paul cannot sing at all, which is part of the charm. But what he can do is write a goddamn song--"Time, Time, Time," like all of the songs on his 2000 debut Lemon-Lime Room, is just the man and his piano--here he tones down his usual jaunty vaudeville rollickicity to a wistful supper-club background to his lyrics, which feature his typical clever wordplay but are more nakedly emotional and direct than usual: "I love you honey more each day / I miss you so / When are you away I need you." His voice cracks in the song's climax, as if he's written a song he can't even sing, but he's going to try his hardest anyway.

Paul released a second album, Wingfoot, in 2001, which I didn't know about until like five minutes ago. You can hear two songs from it, as well as another one from Lemon-Lime Room, on Epitonic. He seems to have added a band for this one.

"A Rose That Needs Some Water" by Rufus Wainwright

Rufus Wainwright, on the other hand, can sing like nobody's business; his slightly nasal, buzzy voice sounds like a cello over his piano. While Parker Paul's witty, sardonic songs have more in common with the work of Rufus's dad Loudon Wainwright III, the younger Wainwright prefers the role of the tortured romantic, as heard in this live reading of "A Rose That Needs Some Water" (apparently recorded at The Knitting Factory in 2000). It's a pretty typical Rufus song, but notable for his flub in the middle of the song when he breaks voice and character and blurts out "Oh, shit."

(MP3 disclaimer: All MP3s offered on this site are for evaluation purposes only--i.e. download them, listen to them, decide whether you would like to purchase the music from a friendly retailer, and then delete them. All MP3s will be available for one week after they are posted. If you are an artist or represent an artist or label whose music appears here, and you would like your music removed, just let me know.)
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The ACC

Here's one for my peeps at The Day Jobs: Apparently this fall there's a new show on FOX called Athens, which is about "conflict and love among the working-class locals and the rich outsiders who study and teach" at a fictional New England college town. Called, presumably, Athens. The show was created by The OC mastermind Josh Schwartz, and he had no trouble using a real locale for that show, so I don't know what the deal is here--if you're gonna do a show about a college town called Athens, why not do it about, y'know, Athens? "The Grill" could enter the national lexicon to replace the Peach Pit or wherever it is those OC kids hang out. And I would kill to see Jazzy J Worldwide in a TV show.
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Friday, May 21, 2004

So pretty...

Just got an email from McSweeney's informing me that my "recent order" shipped on May 17. Since I haven't recently ordered anything from them, I can only assume this means the fabled Chris Ware-edited all-comics McSweeney's #13 is winging its way toward me:



Drool...
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Thursday, May 20, 2004

So lame

I've finally got a Gmail account, but I can't use it at work because it doesn't support my browser (IE 5). And I can't download a new browser because all the browsers Gmail supports only work with Mac OS X, and my crappy work computer uses OS 9.1. I tried downloading the latest version of Mozilla, but my computer didn't know what to do with the file I downloaded. Gmail does apparently work in a stripped-down version on an incompatible browser, but when I log in it tells me my ActiveX controls aren't enabled, despite the fact that they are enabled.

This is way too frustrating for me to deal with right now. Anybody got any suggestions?
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Holla back

I've joined the elite few with a Gmail account. All correspondence should now be directed to

busorama AT gmail DOT com

Forget the hotmail account, forget the globalfrequency account. This is the One True Address from now until eternity.
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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Cheap Geek Thrills

Grant Morrison validates my take on the Scott/Emma/Jean love triangle in New X-Men:

It was stale and going nowhere and we all knew it. Scott has changed – he’s not the teenage boy who fell in love with Jean; when she died for a second time on the moon, their love was over as far as I’m concerned and the stories after that back up my contention – everything after Dark Phoenix was just Jean and Scott trying really hard and failing miserably to recapture that perfect moment of running out hand in hand to face certain death.

Poor Scott had to grieve twice and rebuild his life…then Jean came back again. How could anyone hope to maintain a normal emotional connection with someone in these circumstances? Emma and Scott are the perfect couple – with Jean, Scott had to be a superhuman to keep up, with Emma he can let his humanity out to play.


It's yet another fascinating interview with Morrison. Read more!
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SPINE | Respect my authority

Sean Collins links to a J.W. Hastings post on Warren Ellis's politics, which itself links to posts by John Pistelli and Dave Intermittent. These guys are doing a fine job discussing Ellis's politics as expressed in such works as Planetary and Transmetropolitan, so I'm not going to jump in that debate, but I do think that their perspective on Ellis's The Authority is somewhat limited.

Hastings writes:

We shouldn’t mistake Ellis’s anti-authoritarianism for libertarianism, because though he is against the people who are in authority right now, the same kind of people who have always been in charge, he seems to think that things would be better off if they were replaced by the right people. In The Authority, Ellis gives us the sense that the titular superhero team deserves to be in charge of the world: that they will do better than the mere mortals below them.

Collins and others in Hastings's comments section refute that argument, pointing out that Ellis himself has said The Authority were the villains in their own book, but I think both sides are somewhat missing the point: The Authority, as written by Ellis, were neither heroes nor villains. Because The Authority is a superhero book, we're conditioned to think of its characters as either heroes or villains--simplistic categories that only exist in superhero comics and summer movies. And because Ellis has dismissed his own work as a "piss-take" of the superhero genre, and because The Authority inspired legions of imitators that took nothing more from it than a penchant for splash pages, witty remarks and finely-rendered violence, the subtleties of Ellis's twelve-issue run are often overlooked.

Ellis's Authority were neither heroes nor villains. They want to achieve a "finer world," but at every turn they discover that the means of achieving that world are not always noble. In Ellis's first story, the terrorist dictator Kaizen Gamorra launches cloned kamikaze superpowered beings at Moscow, London and Los Angeles, nearly destroying the cities; Authority member Midnighter finally defeats him by landing the team's 50-mile-wide spaceship on Gamorra's capitol city, with an expression of sadistic glee on his face the whole time. In his second story, The Authority save a parallel Earth from dictatorial rule by erasing its Italy from the map and warning the rest of the world they better behave, or else.

These are not the actions of "heroes," and if it's ever implied that The Authority "deserves to be in charge of the world," it's only because, as Intermittent points out, "the alternative is worse." Ellis lets his characters revel in their powers and their victories, but they also express doubt over their violent means and the compromises they are forced to make. But they're not villains, either, because their results are clearly good: stopping a global terrorist, removing an entire earth from despotic rule, and saving the world from annihilation by a god-thing. Ellis's Authority were a superpower, with all the good and bad that implies. (Recent issues of The Authority by Robbie Morrison have made that even more clear, as The Authority have taken over the American government.) It's easy to draw parallels between the Gamorra and parallel-earth stories (which were published in 1999) and 9/11 and the war in Iraq. Bush's America isn't as heroic as it claims to be, nor as villainous as we sometimes think it is, which is why a lot of us are so internally conflicted over the war: yes, toppling a dictator and liberating a nation are noble goals, but at what cost? And are those goals even achievable? (And this doesn't have anything to do with The Authority, but a third question for Iraq is "Were those even the goals in the first place?") Ellis's Authority, beneath all the surface flash, asks those same questions and provides no easy answers, only lessons in the responsibility that comes with power (which goes far beyond the old Spider-Man homily--The Authority don't just have power, they are in power) and the fine line between saving the world and taking it over.
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Sunday, May 16, 2004

SPEAKER | Super Bowl Shuffle

Blogging's going to continue to be light for the next two weeks. Not nonexistent, just light.

In the spirit of light blogging, I've finally gotten around to participating in a popular blog meme from two months ago. The basic idea is to open up iTunes, put it on shuffle, and list the first 20 (or 15 or whatever) tracks that it plays, regardless of how potentially embarrassing they might be. And believe me, there's some EXTREMELY potentially embarrassing stuff in my iTunes library, which makes the relative quality (and consistency) of this random mix somewhat surprising:

"Cherub Rock" - The Smashing Pumpkins
"Popular Thug" - Kelis feat. Nas
"El Sol" - Zwan
"Gasoline Dreams" - Outkast
"Distance Equals Rate Times Time" - Pixies
"The Separating Fault" - Elf Power
"Alright" - Supergrass
"The Navajo Know" - Pixies
"Woman on the Tier" - Suzanne Vega*
"French Diplomacy" - Boy
"Svefn-g-englar" - Sigur Ros
"That's Really Super, Supergirl" - XTC
"Jessica" - Adam Green
"Who Loves the Sun" - The Velvet Underground
"Screenwriter's Blues" - Soul Coughing**
"Spiderwebs" - No Doubt
"Back in the Mud" - Bubba Sparxxx
"Jangling Jack" - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
"Swelters" - Vic Chesnutt
"In the Aeroplane over the Sea" - Neutral Milk Hotel

Let's note a few coincidences in this supposedly random list: two songs by Billy Corgan-fronted bands; two songs from Trompe le Monde; two songs by Georgia rappers; two songs from albums that I bought on the same night in 1998 from a used record store; four songs by artists from Athens. This interconnectedness is the kind of thing I would do on one of my own mixes, which raises the question I've been asking myself since I started using iTunes: Is it sentient? Is it going to take over my computer and, eventually, my apartment? It even threw in The Velvet Underground's worst song in what I suspect is an attempt to throw me off the scent, but I'm not falling for it. I suspect the only thing keeping it from taking over my life completely is my lack of an iPod, which has so far kept iTunes contained to my desktop. Lord help us all if I ever find an extra $450 lying around.

* From the Dead Man Walking soundtrack, which is chock-full of intense, searching songs about sin and death, as you might expect (Lyle Lovett's "Promises" in particular, which is worth the price of the album by itself). What I didn't expect was something this chilling from Suzanne Vega, whom I was previously only familiar with from "My name is Luka, I live on the second floor." Vega gives the titular "woman on the tier" at a prison's death row a mythic resonance, turning her into a gatekeeper to/guide through hell, while behind her it sounds like someone's pounding away on a piece of sheet metal with a hammer.

**From Ruby Vroom. Faux-Beat poetry of varying quality aside, IT'S ALL TRUE! Strangely, like "Free Fallin'," this song turns the Valley town of Reseda into a vague metaphor. "We are all in some way going to Reseda." What is it about Reseda that makes it such a popular target for songwriters in their cynical LA love/hate songs? I've never even been to Reseda. Maybe it's just that it sounds like the quintessential Valley city: so close to Hollywood, yet so far.
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Thursday, May 13, 2004

Whither Robot Jesus?

Sorry. Sorry. So sorry. Just when I think I can start bloggin' for reals again, something comes along to take up my free time, my me time and all my inbetween time. It's a chewy center of good news wrapped in crunchy coating of stress and sleep deprivation, but it means there'll be no new Adventure of Lil' Gardner & Robot Jesus Evil Gardner today. Assuming I can get my act together this weekend, I will have a new episode for you next week. In the meantime, enjoy this picture of my two favorite hot celebrity bitches:

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004

SPINE | In Focus

Welcome special guest blogger Chris Thorn to the stage:

DC recently launched the Focus line of comics, which consists of four monthly titles published under one banner. The comics share similarities in their coloring, stylized interior art and cover design (which is some of the best in the industry right now). And by using the term Focus, readers would expect the books to have a visible statement of purpose aimed at one common goal.

Instead, DC has crafted a line filled with ambiguity and smears of grey. Three of the four titles’ lead characters are morally questionable individuals whose actions have placed them in difficult situations. Line editors Joan Hilty and Matt Idelson explain the Focus titles as an examination of how real people would use superpowers.

“We're not looking to transport readers to a super-powered fantasy here, rather a super-powered reality,” Idelson says in a Pulse interview. Judging by the tone of the books, that is an ugly indictment of reality. And also a fair one.

The four books are all firmly based in a world similar to ours. Fraction follows four long time friends who are choking on the responsibility of adulthood. Touch takes a shot at the idea of celebrity with a story built on a sturdy foundation of greed. Kinetic has the line’s most sympathetic character by traditional comic standards, but in reality, he is the type of person that most people would avoid. And in Hard Time, the narrative centers around a character born from one of the most disturbing acts of violence America has ever watched on live television.

These characters are not easy people to like and the stories are not easy to read because they are asking tough questions. This tone sets the comics apart from the others on the racks vying for a disappearing dollar. Focus, as a line-wide banner, seems inappropriate at first when compared with the titles’ varying themes and distinct universes. But when the reader turns those real world themes and difficult questions inward, they are forced to examine, even for second, what that situation means to them personally. And by doing that, the comics are bringing some focus into the readers’ lives.


This is the first of a series of articles looking at the individual titles in the line. Today, we look at Hard Time because it has the most issues, in terms of numbers and on the pages.

Hard Time



What were you doing April 20th, 1999? I remember I was cooking macaroni and cheese when learned about Columbine. The shooting is my JFK. And on some levels — probably because I was only 2 years removed from high school when the shooting happened — I think it affected me more than 9/11.

As the TV cameras hung on the exterior of Columbine, with the broken windows, scattered homework littering the ground and the absence of human movement, I imagined what it was on the locker-lined inside. How kids were lying gutshot in the hallways. How others were hiding in closets as they called their parents, the cops and the news media with voices cracking of fear. Except I used the interior of my high school as the setting and the people I knew as the participants. Because of roleplay, Columbine is the most personal disaster I’ve ever experienced.

As time has passed, Columbine slips further and further out of the national conscious. Sure Michael Moore made a film that used Columbine in the title but he was more interested in pointing fingers (and deservedly so) at the media and Chuck Heston. Five years after the incident, psychologists and investigators have put together a very likely scenario of who the killers were as people and why they did it. The experts pin Eric Harris as a psychopath who was destined to wreak an unimaginable level of havoc and mayhem in his lifetime. He could never be stopped nor would he ever stop until he had reached his goal. Dylan Klebold, on the other hand, was a depressed and angry kid who hated himself. He also blamed himself for his own problems. He, most likely, could have received minor psychological counseling and lived his life without further incident. (This info comes from this Slate article. For a more in depth look at Columbine, go here.)

Ethan Harrow, the protagonist of Hard Time, could be modeled after Klebold. I picked up the first issue of Hard Time based on the published premise of the book: a kid with super powers goes to prison for 50 years. I expected a story involving a liquor store robbery gone wrong or some other easily acceptable reason for that amount of jail time. Instead, I got the first fictional story based on Columbine that I had ever come across. I have not seen Zero Day or Elephant yet, but that is not for a lack of interest.

Ethan is a 15-year-old kid who cornered some fellow high school students in a cafeteria at gun point. Brandon Snodd, his partner in crime and best friend, plays the part of Harris. Gerber incorporates other elements of Columbine with Ethan and Brandon’s T-shirts (“Jocks Rot in Hell!”) and the sadistic taunting before shooting the victims. The situation, which was originally was supposed to be a joke, escalates until Brandon kills five people.

The scene is shocking and makes no attempt to hide what it is, but Gerber does make some changes to push Ethan more into the role of a victim than victimizer. His gun is never fired, he thought the guns weren’t loaded, he pleads for the lives of their victims and, with unconsciously powered telekinetic energy, he tears the heart out of Brandon’s chest to stop the shooting.

When the bullets stop flying on page 8, I realized that I had bought a lot more with my $2.50 than expected. This is a book that asks the reader to walk in, or at least watch from a not-so-safe distance, the atonement of a school shooter. Gerber points to this idea of rehabilitation as the inspiration for the story.

“More than the attacks themselves, it was a news report about a participant in one shooting, a fifteen-year-old who had been sentenced to a prison term of 50 years to life. I know, of course, that we've been trying progressively younger defendants as adults in the U.S. and that it's no longer uncommon for American juries to hand down verdicts rooted in vengeance rather than justice, but this struck me as beyond the pale. How could a fifteen-year-old offender even begin to comprehend the reality of half-a-century behind bars? How could a prosecutor, a judge, and twelve citizens convince themselves that a fifteen-year-old was incapable of rehabilitation? Few people seem willing to say it, but the inhumanity of such a sentence begins to approach the barbarity of the crime itself. I thought it was time to raise this issue, too, in a dramatic, compelling way,” Gerber says in a Pulse interview.

Gerber must make Ethan a character that people want to revisit on a regular basis. Someone that they either care about or empathize with in a prison setting (which is more like The Shawshank Redemption than Oz).

His appearance is crucial to capturing the reader’s emotion. He is drawn with a Leave It to Beaver neutrality that is disarming. Contrasted with the rest of the inmates, Ethan is so small that it is obvious he will never reach a comparable size. But this works to his favor because he stands out from the other stereotypical inmates such as the over-sized blacks, tattooed white supremacists, dirty old men, effeminate queens and gang banging latinos.

The reader is given clues to Ethan’s interests and hobbies. He reveals his love for science fiction by requesting a William Gibson book in the library and attacks his job in the repair shop with childlike enthusiasm.

Gerber also uses Ethan’s personality in his favor. Instead of defining Ethan by declarative statements and large emotional outbursts, Gerber uses smartass one liners as his main form of communication. Ethan interacts with the other inmates through sarcasm drawn more from the inevitability of death than a general scorn. Ethan’s lack of characterization forces the reader to imprint their own interpretation of who Ethan is, making him that much more sympathetic.

But Gerber isn’t entirely non-committal as to how Ethan reacts to the prison setting. At the end of the third issue, Ethan stops the beating of a child rapist in the showers at the risk of his own safety. This is an indicative moment of why Hard Time digs so deep under the skin. In his attempt to stop the beating of the rapist, Ethan alienates his only “ally” and is knocked unconscious. As he lays slumped against the wall, his power emerges as a bright red energy conflagration. The blast clears the shower area of all the occupants and leaves Ethan on his hands and knees begging for help. The issues ends and I was left wondering whether or not I would have saved that child killer’s life. While the more prominent question relates to the origin of the red energy, I wasn’t concerned about that. I thought about if I was disappointed that Ethan had intervened and decided that I would have let the rapist meet his end on that water-covered floor. What does that say about me? I don’t know.

Gerber seems to include a scene in every issue that stays on the tip of your brain after you close the last page. In issue four, Ethan receives a letter from Alyssa, the girl whose life he spared during the school shooting. Alyssa is looking for an understanding of what happened that only Ethan can provide. Gerber uses another element from Columbine by having Alyssa admit she is Christian and is trying to forgive Ethan. Although it has been proven to be a myth, the story of the killers asking Cassie Bernall if she believed in God before they shot her is a powerful one. Almost as strong as the stories of heroism on Flight 93. I know that Ethan cannot provide Alyssa or myself with an answer that is satisfactory. I suspect that Gerber will not even try to. Instead, Gerber is reminding of us what can be great about the human spirit. And how that spirit can help us pick up the pieces after a tragedy.

While reading Hard Time, I don’t know if the amount of thought I’ve put into the book is because of how deep Columbine affected me. Or if the conclusions I’ve drawn from the book are more about my own inflections on the work than by the author’s intention. Again, I don’t know. Does it matter?

Because I have not read a comic that asked for more than my money in a long time.
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Sunday, May 09, 2004

SPEAKER | Sweepin' out a warehouse in west LA

The move is over, save for the odds 'n ends that are still sitting in the trunk of the Marquis, so more-or-less regular blogging can resume. Let me offer you some friendly advice about moving: DON'T EVER DO IT. No. Fun. At. All.

But I do like my new apartment, and as I find new homes for all my crap, I'm starting to love it, so things are good. I'm especially happy that the apartment has brand-new carpet; seeing my old apartment's carpet unobscured by furniture was not a pleasant experience. I'm dangerously close to instituting one of those annoying "No Shoes Inside" rules at my new place. Particulary since, in my many trips up and down the stairs carting in boxes, I have tromped in a metric ton of the little purple flowers that keep falling from the tree out front, which seems to have an inexhaustible supply. (Is that how you spell inexhaustible? I still haven't unpacked my dictionary...)

In honor of my new neighborhood, here's Emmylou Harris singing "Two More Bottles of Wine," written by Delbert McClinton. The story will be familiar to many of you: young dreamer moves to LA, has dreams tarnished, if not shattered, and ends up "sweepin' out a warehouse in west LA." Also, it's about how alcohol makes everything better.

And, in honor of my old neighborhood, here's "Debra" by Beck, which includes the immortal lines "I'm gonna take you up to Glendale / Gonna take you for a real good meal," and references Zankou Chicken, which is indeed a place to get a real good meal. I recommend the shawerma sandwich, though the half chicken is always a favorite. (Note: because I am living in 1837 and don't have an MP3 editor, this track is 13:46 and includes a lot of silence and the bonus track from Midnite Vultures.)
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Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Moving is going swimmingly, though I've carted a Grand Marquis-load of stuff from Tha Dale to Hell-Ay each day for the past three days, and the amount of stuff in my old apartment seems to have only increased. And a lot of it is stuff that I don't really want, but which I'm not yet prepared to throw away.

So I'm doing what I do best: stealing someone else's idea. Except, unlike Mary, I'm not making you take a test, and I'm giving away (relatively) good stuff. All you have to do to win your very own priceless piece of Gardeneriana is send your snail-mail addres to me at busoramaAThotmailDOTcom, and soon a fabulous item will be winging its way toward you. You may think I'm just trying to pawn off my worthless junk on unsuspecting friends, but in reality I'm helping you: in thirty years, when the Official Gardner Linn Museum Acquisitions Committee offers to pay you thousands of dollars for whatever trinket I send you, you (and your children, who thanks to me will be able to attend college) will be thanking me.
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